My Story: A Sinner Saved By Grace
We all have a story to tell and so I'd like to share mine with you.
Growing up
I was born in central Florida in the early 1970's. I lived in the country on what could be considered a farm. We had a large garden and several kinds of animals, from small to large (cats, dogs, ducks, chickens, pigs, cows, goats, horses, etc., and oh, a pet goose). My childhood days were spent exploring the woods, climbing trees, building forts, swimming in the creek (and hopefully not getting bit by a snake or eaten by an alligator), fishing, shooting b.b./pellet guns, knocking down wasp nests (and running like crazy), burning ants with a magnifying glass, killing insects and small rodents (sorry PETA), catching frogs and lizards. I also spent a lot of fun time riding my bike and skateboard. One of my favorite things to do outside was swimming, whether in the neighbor's pool or at the beach. While most of my time was spent outdoors, I also enjoyed time indoors playing with my toys, video games and watching cartoons.
I was born in central Florida in the early 1970's. I lived in the country on what could be considered a farm. We had a large garden and several kinds of animals, from small to large (cats, dogs, ducks, chickens, pigs, cows, goats, horses, etc., and oh, a pet goose). My childhood days were spent exploring the woods, climbing trees, building forts, swimming in the creek (and hopefully not getting bit by a snake or eaten by an alligator), fishing, shooting b.b./pellet guns, knocking down wasp nests (and running like crazy), burning ants with a magnifying glass, killing insects and small rodents (sorry PETA), catching frogs and lizards. I also spent a lot of fun time riding my bike and skateboard. One of my favorite things to do outside was swimming, whether in the neighbor's pool or at the beach. While most of my time was spent outdoors, I also enjoyed time indoors playing with my toys, video games and watching cartoons.
Church
I do not remember attending church as a child though I guess I must have because I had two or three certificates for perfect attendance at vacation Bible school. Apparently, I went to church faithfully at least two or three summers in a row, though I do not remember. My first memory of attending church is as a young teenager after I was invited by a neighborhood friend. But then (as a teenager) only once and twice again when I was twenty years old: once before I joined the Navy to please my fiancé (more so her parents) and once while in Navy boot camp in order to get out of barracks duty on a Sunday morning.
I do not remember attending church as a child though I guess I must have because I had two or three certificates for perfect attendance at vacation Bible school. Apparently, I went to church faithfully at least two or three summers in a row, though I do not remember. My first memory of attending church is as a young teenager after I was invited by a neighborhood friend. But then (as a teenager) only once and twice again when I was twenty years old: once before I joined the Navy to please my fiancé (more so her parents) and once while in Navy boot camp in order to get out of barracks duty on a Sunday morning.
Lost Boy
As a teenager in the late eighties/early nineties, I was a part of the MTV, Beverly Hills 90210 generation. My influences were not good to say the least. I started drinking at an early age (unbeknownst to my parents), around fifteen or sixteen years old, in order to "fit in" and "be cool." I really leaned into the whole Beastie Boys get drunk and party, rebel against authority mentality. I got mixed up with the wrong crowd; fighting, drinking and thieving became my lifestyle. When I was seventeen, I ran away from home. I ended up flunking out of high school and getting my G.E.D. (General Education Diploma) instead. After that, I got engaged to my "first love," but when that relationship ended abruptly a couple of years later, I became very depressed and wanted to end my life. I decided to join the Navy instead. What seemed like a good idea at the time, I soon regretted.
As a teenager in the late eighties/early nineties, I was a part of the MTV, Beverly Hills 90210 generation. My influences were not good to say the least. I started drinking at an early age (unbeknownst to my parents), around fifteen or sixteen years old, in order to "fit in" and "be cool." I really leaned into the whole Beastie Boys get drunk and party, rebel against authority mentality. I got mixed up with the wrong crowd; fighting, drinking and thieving became my lifestyle. When I was seventeen, I ran away from home. I ended up flunking out of high school and getting my G.E.D. (General Education Diploma) instead. After that, I got engaged to my "first love," but when that relationship ended abruptly a couple of years later, I became very depressed and wanted to end my life. I decided to join the Navy instead. What seemed like a good idea at the time, I soon regretted.
The Navy
I can't say that I really liked the Navy, actually the opposite was true. And I wish that I could say that I left my drinking days behind me once I joined the Navy, but sadly I was surrounded by an environment that almost encouraged drinking. The idea that sailors like to drink (cuss and get tattoos) is true. I was drunk almost every weekend. I didn't think it was a problem until I got arrested a couple of times while intoxicated, once in Mexico and then again in Chicago. That led to disciplinary action and problems with my superiors. I resented their authority in my life. I rebelled. I wanted to do things my way, not theirs. I was hoping for the day when my time of military service was up.
I can't say that I really liked the Navy, actually the opposite was true. And I wish that I could say that I left my drinking days behind me once I joined the Navy, but sadly I was surrounded by an environment that almost encouraged drinking. The idea that sailors like to drink (cuss and get tattoos) is true. I was drunk almost every weekend. I didn't think it was a problem until I got arrested a couple of times while intoxicated, once in Mexico and then again in Chicago. That led to disciplinary action and problems with my superiors. I resented their authority in my life. I rebelled. I wanted to do things my way, not theirs. I was hoping for the day when my time of military service was up.
The Rave Scene
While I was stationed in Chicago, I met a fellow shipmate who introduced me to the underground rave scene. I fell in love with the music and the people. I started going to raves every weekend and really began immersing myself in the rave culture. It changed everything about me: the music that I listened to, the way that I dressed and my whole philosophy of life. I even stopped getting drunk (for the most part). I prided myself that I was not like those "other sailors" who liked to get drunk all the time. The problem was that I replaced alcohol with substances of the more "recreational kind." This only added to my depression.
While I was stationed in Chicago, I met a fellow shipmate who introduced me to the underground rave scene. I fell in love with the music and the people. I started going to raves every weekend and really began immersing myself in the rave culture. It changed everything about me: the music that I listened to, the way that I dressed and my whole philosophy of life. I even stopped getting drunk (for the most part). I prided myself that I was not like those "other sailors" who liked to get drunk all the time. The problem was that I replaced alcohol with substances of the more "recreational kind." This only added to my depression.
Temporary Happiness
I was only happy in the moment. I was the "life of the party" the night of and the morning after a rave, but I was depressed the day after and in the days to follow (at least until the next weekend rolled around). I lived for the weekends. It got to the point where I was only happy if I was at a party. Nothing could keep me away; not school, my job, or lack of sleep. I became focused on one thing and that was having a "good time." I became irresponsible and I made many foolish decisions as a result.
I was only happy in the moment. I was the "life of the party" the night of and the morning after a rave, but I was depressed the day after and in the days to follow (at least until the next weekend rolled around). I lived for the weekends. It got to the point where I was only happy if I was at a party. Nothing could keep me away; not school, my job, or lack of sleep. I became focused on one thing and that was having a "good time." I became irresponsible and I made many foolish decisions as a result.
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A Deejay
Eventually, my love for house music led me to become a deejay. At the time it seemed almost inevitable that I should become a deejay. That's where so much of my heart was -- in the music, in the people -- they became my family, and in the underground rave scene itself -- it became my home. |
The Accident
After having been honorably discharged from the Navy three years prior (a dream come true), I celebrated my "golden birthday" at a local club in Chicago. As I emerged from the club in a drunken stupor and barely having found my way to my car, I got into my car and drove off. CRAAAAAAASH!!!!!! While not seriously injured (by the grace of God), this accident would change my life FOREVER!
After having been honorably discharged from the Navy three years prior (a dream come true), I celebrated my "golden birthday" at a local club in Chicago. As I emerged from the club in a drunken stupor and barely having found my way to my car, I got into my car and drove off. CRAAAAAAASH!!!!!! While not seriously injured (by the grace of God), this accident would change my life FOREVER!
Empty Life
I felt empty inside, like there was a void in my life. My life seemed purposeless. After the car accident, I started to think: Man, what if I had died? I don't know that I would be going to any place good? I think that I would have ended up in hell! That scared me and motivated me to read the New Testament Bible that the Gideons had given all of the sailors in boot camp. I can't even remember what passages I read. All I know is that God was speaking to me through this book.
I felt empty inside, like there was a void in my life. My life seemed purposeless. After the car accident, I started to think: Man, what if I had died? I don't know that I would be going to any place good? I think that I would have ended up in hell! That scared me and motivated me to read the New Testament Bible that the Gideons had given all of the sailors in boot camp. I can't even remember what passages I read. All I know is that God was speaking to me through this book.
One of my favorite house records is "Blackout" by Lil Louis and a song that I believe God used in my life to bring me to salvation. How so? Well, for one, it caused me to search the Bible to find the words that were being spoken in the song. It's one of the reasons why I held onto the Gideon's New Testament that I had received in boot camp for all those years because it was significant to me that the words of the song were in this book and it (God's word) was there for me when I needed it most. Yes, as it turned out the words were actually from scripture including the creation account in Genesis, Psalm 23, John 3:16 (the gospel) and the book of Revelation. The record includes a call to repentance and faith in the Savior and a warning of the judgement to come! I don't think it was the deejay's intention to evangelize ravers, clubbers, and partygoers but God used him and we know that God's word will not return void! "For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart." - Hebrews 4:12
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Willful Rejection & Rebellion
For most of my life, I willingly rejected God's existence. Not only did I willingly reject God, but I wanted to have nothing to do with those who claimed to be Christians. I remember a friend telling me that she had started going to church and I got rather upset with her. I said, "If you keep going, then I can't be friends with you!" But in my current state of brokenness, I was now humble enough to acknowledge the God that I already knew existed. But it was also way more than just acknowledging God's existence, I was now giving up the control of my life to God. I messed up my life big time! I was finally ready for God to take it over!
For most of my life, I willingly rejected God's existence. Not only did I willingly reject God, but I wanted to have nothing to do with those who claimed to be Christians. I remember a friend telling me that she had started going to church and I got rather upset with her. I said, "If you keep going, then I can't be friends with you!" But in my current state of brokenness, I was now humble enough to acknowledge the God that I already knew existed. But it was also way more than just acknowledging God's existence, I was now giving up the control of my life to God. I messed up my life big time! I was finally ready for God to take it over!
Confession, Repentance & Faith
The Gideon's New Testament Bible had a prayer of salvation in the back. With a sincere heart, I confessed myself a sinner and received God's forgiveness and grace believing that Jesus Christ, the Son of God died on the cross for my sins and rose again from the dead. I placed my faith and trust in Jesus Christ as my Savior and chose to follow Him as Lord. (See: What is the Gospel?) |
I do not mean to make my conversion to Christ sound hygienic and/or methodical--it was not. It was messy and not at all formulaic. I was completely overwhelmed with my sin. There was lots of sobbing and weeping. I cried out in agony for God to save me and He did!
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New Life, Eternal Life
I felt like a brand new person and in fact I was -- a new creation! "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new" (2 Cor 5:17). I had been born again! Everything that I had been searching for all my life and I finally found it (or rather God, not it, found me)! The emptiness inside me that I was trying to fill with things of the world was finally filled with the love of God! Because of all the sinful choices that I made in life, I felt like I was not worthy enough to be accepted by God. And in fact I wasn't worthy enough! I had absolutely nothing to offer Him except my sins, but He accepted me anyways!
I felt like a brand new person and in fact I was -- a new creation! "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new" (2 Cor 5:17). I had been born again! Everything that I had been searching for all my life and I finally found it (or rather God, not it, found me)! The emptiness inside me that I was trying to fill with things of the world was finally filled with the love of God! Because of all the sinful choices that I made in life, I felt like I was not worthy enough to be accepted by God. And in fact I wasn't worthy enough! I had absolutely nothing to offer Him except my sins, but He accepted me anyways!
Forgiven and Set Free
I thought that God could never forgive a wretched sinner like me! But because of the sacrifice of His Son, the Lord Jesus, taking the punishment for my sin on that cross upon Himself, (not because of anything good that I had done) all my shame and guilt had been washed away! I felt like the weight of the world had been lifted off my shoulders! All that sin and shame that I had been dragging around with me all my life was finally gone! Oh, to be forgiven and set free! What a glorious day that I shall never forget!
"Therefore if the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed." (John 8:36)
See: JESUS CAME TO SET THE CAPTIVE FREE!
I thought that God could never forgive a wretched sinner like me! But because of the sacrifice of His Son, the Lord Jesus, taking the punishment for my sin on that cross upon Himself, (not because of anything good that I had done) all my shame and guilt had been washed away! I felt like the weight of the world had been lifted off my shoulders! All that sin and shame that I had been dragging around with me all my life was finally gone! Oh, to be forgiven and set free! What a glorious day that I shall never forget!
"Therefore if the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed." (John 8:36)
See: JESUS CAME TO SET THE CAPTIVE FREE!
I Died, was Buried, and Raised to New Life with Jesus Christ.
"Therefore we were buried with Him through baptism into death, that just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life" (Romans 6:4).
"I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me" (Galations 2:20).
"Therefore we were buried with Him through baptism into death, that just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life" (Romans 6:4).
"I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me" (Galations 2:20).
The following is a video (and audio) of my baptism. It is important to note that water baptism is only for the believer in Christ -- the one who has come to a saving faith in Jesus Christ by repentance toward God and trusting in Christ and His finished work on the cross. Saving faith always precedes water baptism. Baptism does not save! The Bible clearly teaches that we are saved by grace through faith in Jesus Christ (Ephesians 2:8-9). That having been said, the Lord has commanded all believing Christians everywhere to be baptized. "Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit" (Matthew 28:19).
My Baptism (video)
My BaptismPosted by ONE WAY JESUS on Tuesday, August 25, 2015
My Baptism (audio) | |
File Size: | 2386 kb |
File Type: | mp3 |